Fernando "Time is an Illusion" Finot is a one of the three greatest thinkers of the modern time, but more prominently, a male stripper in the Iowa City area. Most of his early life was spent blackmailing his brother into giving him cigarettes. Among the philosophers in the strip club crowd, he is known for having several quite radical philosophies. It has been estimated that there is a 70.3% chance that he is involved in cult activity, potentially relating to the worship of Oatmeal, which is why he is currently under observation by the CIA.
- Time is an illusion, it is only a construct of the human mind.
- There are no bad people.
- "Hitler was FANTASTIC"
- Oatmeal is the food of the gods.
- Everything is in a perfect equilibrium at all times
- You don't have to do anything
- We don't exist
- Ramen was brought to Earth by false idols.